The One Where Something Bad Happens to Chandler
by Frank Buffay
Summary: Tragedy befalls the Big Top
1. Default Chapter

TOW Something Really Bad Happens to Chandler  
  
'Come on kids, it's time to go visit the circus' shouted Monica laughingly up the stairs.  
  
She so enjoyed the time of year when the circus would roll into town. She still clutched to a few happy childhood memories of the circus; like water in oasis, they were the few pleasant times that she could recall from a time consisting mostly of misery. The big top. Juggling clowns. Those bright, vivid colors resembling resplendent rainbows. How she longed for those days of sweet innocence. For Chandler, however, it was quite different. Since childhood he had an overwhelming fear that one day his life would be prematurely terminated by an angry circus elephant. His sleep was frequently interrupted by horrifying nightmares that under an elephant's foot, he would one day be brutally killed. No matter how much Monica tried to comfort him during those long, angst-ridden nights, it made little difference. Chandler knew that he had a vendetta with every circus elephant in the Tri-State area. He was a husband now. And a father. It was time to face up to his responsibilities. His old friend Phoebe had taken every opportunity to mock and belittle his manhood. But, no more. Chandler Bing was going to take action and be the strong courageous person he'd always wanted to be for his wife. Yes, Chandler Eunice Bing was going to visit the circus.  
  
"Chandler, honey, can you hurry up?" asked Monica, frantically putting on her coat.  
  
"I'll be there, would you stop nagging for just one second?"  
  
"What is the matter with you? You've been short with me all morning." asked Monica snappily.  
  
"It's nothing. Nothing. Can we just get this over with please?"  
  
"Oh, I get it. Is this because of the circus? Chandler, sweetie, I'll be there. I promise you. What did my vows say in the wedding".  
  
"Nothing about circuses" Chandler said, clearly displaying his nerves.  
  
"OK, so not specifically. But, for the kids, for yourself, let's do this, OK?"  
  
"OK" Chandler said, embracing Monica and walking out to the car where Monica had efficiently already seated their twin daughters, Cybil and Lily. He loved his daughters, although Cybil's obsession with Elvis was beginning to trouble him. Is it normal for a girl that age to like Elvis so much? She had also started wearing quite provocative clothing that was also of some concern. But for the moment, Chandler could not bring himself to think of those things in sufficient depth. He knew that his focus had to be on surviving the circus.  
  
"Mommy? When do we get there" asked Lily from the back, clearly bored of travelling after only five minutes.  
  
"It's not long sweetie, but it'll be worth it. I promise' replied her adoring mother.  
  
"Mommy, do they have Elvis clowns at the circus" added Cybil.  
  
Chandler frowned. The Elvis references again.  
  
"Erm.I don't think so, Cybil. Could you pull your skirt up a bit please, I'm sure it wasn't that short when we left the house".  
  
Cybil rolled her eyes. One day soon she promised herself she'd escape from sterile suburbia and find her own hotel - or better motel - in the desert. Yes, there she'd find happiness. And people who would understand appreciate her attraction to Elvis.  
  
"This is it! Man, it's so great to be back here" Monica said excitedly as the car pulled into the circus parking lot.  
  
"Yeah.great. I'm so happy" Chandler responded, convincing no one. Fortunately his children were blissfully unaware of his problems.  
  
Walking into the Big Top, Chandler urged Monica to sit towards the back. However, Monica knew this only happens once every year and she was not to be denied some inferior back row view.  
  
"No way, Chandler, be fair to the kids, they want to see this spectacle up close and personal' Monica urged.  
  
"Look at them, they don't seem to care" Chandler responded and he was right, for the most part. The younger child Lily was happy to be there, but Cybil's main interest was eyeing up clowns and mentally undressing their face paint and baggy pants.  
  
Finally taking their seats, the lights began to dim. Monica embraced Chandler realising that he would need support today of all days. The spotlight appeared on a trapeze act.  
  
"Ah, just the trapeze" Chandler uttered to himself, clearly somewhat relieved.  
  
He thought it strange that this death-defying act did not in the least bit scare him. But he knew what was to soon follow. Due to his anxiety, this performance seemed painfully long.he just wanted it to end.  
  
With the trapeze act removed and all injuries accumulated taken care of, next out was a parade of clowns. Chandler tried to suppress a wide grin as their appearance and ridiculous acts naturally amused him. One clown in particular was keen to approach the area where the Bing's were seated. Cybil winked at him, but the gesture was unnoticed, as he seemed to be fascinated by the radiant Monica, still strikingly beautiful. She was perfection indeed. Chandler began to feel yet more uncomfortable at the clown's apparent attraction to his wife.  
  
"Great, could this day, BE any worse" he mumbled to himself. Monica was paying no attention to him or the clown however, as she had noticed that approaching the center stage was a large elephant. Draped in glittering jewels and feathers, it was a fine animal. She wondered why Chandler would be so afraid of such a beautiful creature. She never had found out why exactly and chalked it up to one of his rather strange childhood experiences that she preferred to remain ignorant of.  
  
Chandler now noticed the elephant and instantly beads of sweat formed across his forehead. He rubbed his hands together, anything to stop this anxiety. Monica glanced over at her husband, trying to remain calm, but eager to end his trauma. She placed her hand in his, noticing the abundant sweat. How she wanted to take away his fears. Yet she remained impotent to do so. The only person who could do that was Airy the Elephant. She felt overcome with frustrations. She was Chandler's wife, and yet the most powerful person in his life seemed to be Airy. If only he could overcome this one final obstacle, this dreadful hurdle, then their life together would be complete.  
  
"Thump. Thump". Airy's footsteps echoed throughout the Big Top, causing slight tremors to run through Chandler's back.  
  
Atop Airy was a man in indecently tight spandex, waving to the crowds. Chandler saw it as nothing more than mockery and it made him angry.  
  
The ringmaster started to speak loudly on the microphone, reminding him of a character in his favorite movie, 'Moulin Rouge'.  
  
"Ladies, and gentlemen! Behold Airy! Imported from Africa, this magnificent creature will perform tricks like you have never before witnessed! Now you've seen this one before on television I'm sure.but never in person. We request one brave audience member to lie next to one of Airy's imposing feet and experience the adrenaline that we circus people have every night! Is there anyone who would like to volunteer?"  
  
Chandler knew it had to be him. This was the only way he could overcome his phobia. This was the only way he could move forward with Monica and his children. He had to do this. His intelligence became non-existent, instead overtaken by brute instincts.  
  
"I'll do it! I'll do it!" shouted Chandler, waving his hands.  
  
Monica's mouth dropped open in shock. Yet she knew this was something her husband had to do. Instead of pulling back as her common sense told her to do, she watched as Chandler strode out next to Airy, hearing the crowds roar in approval.  
  
Chandler spoke with the ringmaster who informed him of the procedures. It was all terribly safe. The person on top of Airy (his circus name was Fish apparently) was well trained and was in total control of the situation. No problems whatsoever.  
  
Overcome with adrenaline, Chandler lay on the ground, next to Airy. This was just something he had to do. He had no choice.  
  
Cybil had been distracted for most of the show. She was absent mindingly munching on popcorn, looking at anything but the performers. Then suddenly out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a young man on the elephant.  
  
Chandler lay still, expecting, well, he wasn't sure. But he knew something good would come of this.  
  
Airy lifted one leg. The trick was that the elephant lifts its leg so close to the person on the ground that the audience thinks there's a real chance of death. But the elephant-trainers are so expert that it's almost impossible for that to occur.  
  
Cybil noticed this Fish person again. She stood up and winked at him, ignoring the perilous situation her father was in.  
  
Fish noticed Cybil. She was the most beautiful person he'd seen. He tried to concentrate but his attention was distracted. As Airy was supposed to raise her leg and then walk away, Fish instead was staring at Cybil out of the corner of his eye. And then it all went horribly wrong.  
  
Monica jumped up from the bench. An unpleasant sound filled the circus. Instead of moving away, Airy's huge foot had ended up impressed on Chandler Bing's former face.  
  
Monica couldn't look at the scene. And yet she couldn't talk or speak. She instinctively grabbed her daughters. Rushing out of the big top, she approached the parking lot. She didn't know what to do. Clearly her husband was dead..she couldn't go back in there and be confronted with that horrifying sight.  
  
And then she felt something unexpected, a friendly touch on her shoulder. It was Coco. Coco the Clown. 


	2. TOW Something Else Bad Happens

TOW Something Bad Happens to Monica  
  
5 years since Chandler was squashed.  
  
Monica woke with a startle. Looking around the room from left to right, she absorbed her grim reality. She had been enjoying another dream about her former husband Chandler. She couldn't decide if they were a good thing because it gave her temporary happiness or whether they were bad because she always felt doubly worse when she remembered that he was dead. If only she hadn't gone to the circus that day, how different her life would have been.  
  
Monica had been married for the last five years to CoCo the Clown. She was still unsure of his last name. During their marriage service, CoCo had refused to use his birth name, telling Monica that he had legally changed his last name to 'the Clown'. She didn't know what to believe anymore. Her life was full of deceit. What difference would one more lie make?  
  
"Oh God, this is disgusting" Monica muttered while rising out of her bed, glancing at a heavily snoring CoCo. Her room was a wreck. CoCo awakened from his deep sleep. Empty wine and beer bottles haphazardly were thrown across the room. Monica had lost her interest in cleaning some time ago. Ever since CoCo had starting drinking seriously, it became harder and harder for her to cope. Circus attendances had been down for several years now and CoCo was only too keen to take his anger out on Monica.  
  
"What are you looking at? Get outta here!" CoCo yelled at Monica. His face paint was smeared across his face, his bright green curly wig sloping at an odd angle, and his red nose hanging around his head by some lose string.  
  
Shutting the door quietly, Monica began to think to herself.  
  
"God, if 10 years ago, I'd have known that Chandler would be killed by an elephant and I'd end up married to an abusive, alcoholic clown, I'd have killed myself". She began to seriously contemplate that suggestion. She was no mother to Lily now. Cybil had left some time ago, apparently having moved to Nevada. Monica was seriously worried about her, having heard that she was already pregnant. But what could she do, there was no way in which she could contact her.  
  
Walking downstairs, the phone rang; Monica reluctantly answered.  
  
"Hey Mon, it's Rachel! I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch later? I'm in the area and would love to stop by".  
  
"Ah, Rach, I'd love to see you but I don't know if today's a good time for me". Since Chandler's death, Monica had kept only perfunctory contact with Rachel who still didn't know about CoCo.  
  
"No way. Come on. Me and Ross are really worried about you Mon".  
  
"There's no need to be worried about me Rachel, honestly. I'm settled now. I re-married since Chandler's.death" Monica wondered why she was suddenly confessing this secret to her friend who she hadn't spoken to so long. She accounted it to their past familiarities but was relieved by the feeling that finally telling people about CoCo gave her.  
  
"Who did you marry then? Is it someone we know?" asked Rachel excitedly.  
  
"His name is CoCo".  
  
"CoCo? What kind of name is that?" Rachel replied.  
  
"This is why I didn't tell you people. CoCo is a wonderful man. Since Chandler's passing he's been there for me. His first wife was killed by Airy the elephant too. He related to me at a time when no-one else could. We had candlelight dinners, and sure people would stare at his clown outfits, but when I was with him, I didn't care" Monica's voice was full with emotion.  
  
"Oh God. Look, sweetie, I have to go. But I'm going to call you soon I promise. Me, Ross and the kids will come visit, I have to now".  
  
"Oh, OK. Great. Bye". Monica hung up. She didn't want Rachel to see her life as it was now. Telling her about it was one thing, but for her to physically see her unhappiness and misery was quite another.  
  
CoCo came down the stairs so loudly Monica was shaking. His clown feet making an irritating flopping noise with each step. Looking at him she didn't want to know who she was more disgusted with: him or herself.  
  
"I heard the phone. Who was it?" screamed CoCo  
  
"It was no-one" replied Monica, trying to adopt a calm front.  
  
"Was that the circus? Do they want another tour. Tell me!" CoCo threw Monica against the sink, smashing two glasses at the same time.  
  
"It wasn't the circus, I promise" said Monica, mascara running down her face. CoCo stormed out of the house, barely remembering to pick up his pink satin overcoat and floppy hat.  
  
"CoCo please, don't leave" she shouted although without any genuine feeling. The door slammed hard, shaking the entire house. Monica walked across to see CoCo leave, catching a glimpse of her pathetic self in the mirror, her aged face bruised and joyless. She was glad that her daugher Lily was staying at her friend's house so that for once at least, she would be spared seeing her father's rage. She hated the life that she had provided for Lily and Cybil. If only Chandler were here, how different things would be. Rachel's call had made her realise that her and CoCo were no longer fit parents. If they were no longer in their care, Rachel and Ross could give the kind of care that Lily deserved as she was rapidly approaching college age. With that thought in her head, Monica grabbed her car keys and left the house.  
  
After a surprisingly short time, Monica pulled up at her destination. The big top. This place that had ended her first marriage, this place so full of former happiness. The area was deserted. She saw a bearded lady simply known as IT that wandered around the circus, looking aimless, quoting bizarre poetry. Monica avoided eye contact with her, and walked into the main circus area. There she saw the trapeze and remembered that night with Chandler five years ago, the happiness that it had originally created for them, and then the bitter misery that soon followed. Her life subsequently had been so unhappy. Lily was approaching the age when she would leave home like her sister Cybil and for the time being, Rachel and Ross could provide better care and support for her.  
  
Monica walked up to the trapeze. She no longer wanted to live her 'life' with CoCo, seeing nothing but misery in her future. She slowly climbed the trapeze ladder, just wanting to end her pain, misery and suffering. Finally she reached the top, looking down at the empty arena. She exhaled deeply. And then suddenly she wasn't in control of her own body. Memories of happiness suddenly flooded her mind. Colors streamed into her consciousness. And then, silence.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
At Monica's now former residence, the telephone rang impatiently. For Monica's wayward daughter Cybil was desperate to return. She hated all that CoCo had inflicted upon her mother, the wreck that she had become, and would do anything to seek revenge. Anything.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 


	3. TOW the Shocking Twist

A/N: Thank you to everyone that took the time to read and review! Mucho apreciado.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I'd like to emphasize that, because the legal battles I had over the first two chapters has really hit me financially and are just downright embarrassing. No, Diane Sawyer, I will not be interviewed about it!  
  
Cybil stood outside the airport, furiously smoking cigarette after cigarette. She had received a phone call just minutes earlier that her mother Monica had committed suicide by jumping off a trapeze. She was too severely in shock to have any genuine reaction to the news. She had flown to New York to try and make amends with her mother but now realized that it was too late. After finishing her cigarette, she took a cab up to the circus where both her parents had been killed. The taxi driver winked at Cybil through the car mirror, but Cybil was too removed from reality to reciprocate the gesture.  
  
"Whoa" Cybil thought, "I can't even flirt anymore? This must have really gotten to me".  
  
Finally arriving at the circus, she wandered around the isolated grounds trying to comprehend the situation. Finally she reached for her cell phone, having decided that she needed to call CoCo and resolve this matter entirely. She wanted to kick some serious clown ass, and was determined to do whatever was necessary to make amends for her mother's death.  
  
"CoCo, it's me, Cybil. Your former step-daughter" shouted Cybil into the phone.  
  
"Gah, Cybil; what the hell do you want? Leave me alone. I'm drinking here and watching TV. I'm just so traumatized by Monica's death" CoCo's tone was damaged by years of cigar smoking, giving his voice a sinister edge.  
  
"CoCo, you get your no good clown ass over here right now. I need to talk with you about my mom." Cybil realized that shouting at CoCo would not work, if she wanted to get him over here, she would have to adopt a new strategy. "CoCo, my mother left you a lot of money. I dropped by the lawyer's earlier and picked up the will. I think you'll want to see this".  
  
"Money? Money? Well, not as though the money matters to me. Clearly I'm still in shock over Money-ca's death" CoCo said attempting sincerity.  
  
"Whatever, CoCo. Just get over here soon, I'm not going to stay here for long". Cybil put her phone back into her purse and waited around for approximately half an hour until CoCo turned up in his shiny pink VW van.  
  
"CoCo, so we meet again" said Cybil, her skirt now indecently high after an encounter with a contortionist.  
  
"Yes, darling Cybil. I'm so sorry."  
  
"Cut the crap CoCo. There's no will. My mom apparently hadn't lost total sense of reality and didn't leave you a cent".  
  
"What? Why you little.!"  
  
Cybil jumped on CoCo's back. Normally she enjoyed this position, but all she could think about this time was how much she wanted to kill him. Pounding his head with her shoe, CoCo lay on the ground unconscious.  
  
"And that, dear CoCo, is for my mother" Cybil proudly exclaimed.  
  
Suddenly, CoCo jumped up from the ground, pulling a gun from underneath his curly orange wig. He shot Cybil instantly three times, and then again and again. No harm in making sure that she was completely dead. CoCo looked around, making sure that there were no witnesses. He ran to the orange CoCoMobile and sped off, a cloud of dust forming in his tracks.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
3 months later since Cybil's tragic death.  
  
Rachel wandered the streets still feeling depressed. Her career as an international singing sensation was over. Even though it had been some time since Monica and Chandler's deaths it was also still hard for her to come to terms with it all. She decided to stop by Monica's former workplace, the Monndance Diner, to bring back some fond memories. Upon entering, she noticed a familiar woman working there as a waitress. Blonde wig. Fake boobs. Glasses.  
  
"Mon?! Mon?! Is that you?" Rachel squealed.  
  
"Oh, crap" muttered the waitress. She knew it hadn't been a good idea for her to come back here, but nowhere else was hiring alcoholic 50 year olds. She wondered why.  
  
"Rachel, yeah it's me. Monica. How about we sit down". Monica knew that she'd been discovered and would now have to explain everything.  
  
"Yeah, see, I didn't actually commit suicide. I faked my own death".  
  
"Oh my God" said Rachel, mesmerized by Monica's revelation.  
  
"Yeah. Well. I was miserable with CoCo. Cybil had run off to Nevada and was pregnant. Lily was about to enter college and was better off without me. I missed Chandler so much Rachel, you have no idea. I just hated being away from him. I just wanted to get away from CoCo, to start fresh. So I became Regina Philangi. What happened was.someone had already died at the circus. One of the acrobats had landed badly after a stunt. So I went up there and jumped, but only onto a mattress. Yeah, even that distance would kill most people, but this mattress was made by the Mattress King. He's like the best at them I guess. Anyway, I swapped my body with the acrobat, dressed her up in my clothes and hid the mattress. CoCo is such a drunk, I knew that he'd identify my body as being me, even though the acrobat whose body I used was a young black man. He's that stupid" said Monica, finally pausing for breath.  
  
"Wow. That's a lot of information. Sweetie, did you hear about Cybil" asked Rachel, trying to remain calm.  
  
"No, I haven't heard anything from her in years. Why?"  
  
"Mon, Cybil's dead. CoCo shot her" Rachel sipped her coffee and before she looked back up, Monica had left the diner. Still in her 50s costume, she ran for a taxi because now it was her time to get revenge on CoCo.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Monica paced frantically around the circus, trying to find CoCo. She called their old house, but there was no answer. She went up to IT the bearded poet lady to see if she had any advice:  
  
CoCo is dead, He hit his head, He is no more, Now close the door.  
  
"What CoCo is dead?! Are you sure?!" Bearded IT poet responded:  
  
Yes, he is in the big top, He's really just now slop.  
  
Monica raced to the big top, wondering why she hadn't been there already. Upon entering, she saw CoCo's dead body and a mysterious man wearing a white apron standing over him.  
  
"Oh my. Is he dead?" asked Monica.  
  
"Ma'am, he couldn't BE more dead if he tried". That voice. It seemed so familiar. Suddenly the man turned around.  
  
"Chandler? Oh my God is that you?!" screamed Monica, running into his arms. "Monica, it feels so good to be holding you again".  
  
"But Chandler, I thought you were dead".  
  
"Well I kinda was. What happened was I faked my own death".  
  
"Oh my God, I did too!" yelled Monica, finally happy.  
  
"Really? What happened was I was in the hospital in a really bad way. But they did some plastic surgery, a few transplants and before you can say WENUS, it's the old Chandler Bing back".  
  
"But Chandler, I don't get it. Why didn't you come back to me?" asked Monica, looking straight into his eyes, trying to make up for lost time.  
  
"You were married to CoCo. I'd assumed you were happy now with him, and didn't want to be bothered with some weak man who'd been squashed by an elephant".  
  
"No, sweetie. Not at all. CoCo told me you were dead. I had no idea he would lie to me over something like that" Monica exclaimed, still in ecstasy at being reunited.  
  
"That damn clown. Could I BE more angry" Chandler shouted.  
  
"Sweetie, can you tone down the catchphrases. It's like there's some lazy writer scripting this and all he can come up with is this stuff".  
  
"Oh, Mon, I'm so sorry, I'm just so happy to be back with you".  
  
"I know!" yelled Monica.  
  
"Hey, more catchprases. Is the same writer doing your lines too or something?" Chandler and Monica both laughed and held hands.  
  
"So Chandler, I'm still confuzzled. Why were you here?"  
  
"I've been working with a touring circus. When I was recovering, a few of the acrobats stopped by to see how I was and I eventually signed up with them. I don't really do any of the circus tricks or anything. See, these places are all totally self-sufficient, they have their own vegetable gardens, animals, etc. I'm in charge of the cows" Chandler said warmly as they walked outside.  
  
"Cows?" asked Monica  
  
"Yeah. I mean, sure it doesn't pay as well as the advertising job did, but it makes me happy and that's the main thing, right?"  
  
"Chandler, are you trying to tell me that you're a circus milk maid?"  
  
"I guess I am" Chandler chuckled, pointing out his pet cow to Monica.  
  
"There she is. Her original name here was Dan, but then I changed it to Cybil. I got a little bored of that name so I changed it again to Mon, after you."  
  
Monica smiled fondly. She was remembering why she had fallen in love with this man in the first place and why she could never let go of his memory.  
  
"Oh, Mon. I'm so happy. Now you, me, Cybil and Lily can be a family again" said Chandler, not wanting to ever stop holding Monica's hand.  
  
"Oh Chandler, Cybil's dead." Monica uttered solemnly.  
  
"Oh, man, that sucks. Although, she was kinda slutty" Chandler shrugged.  
  
"You're right, she was a lost cause" shrugged Monica, matching Chandler's gesture.  
  
"We still have Lily though right?"  
  
"Yes, Chandler. As far as I know, Lily is still alive. We may need to check though" Monica giggled. "One other thing Chandler, I found a cancerous lump and was twice raped while I was working as a waitress. I'm undergoing treatment though."  
  
"Oh you did. But together we can get through all that! By the way Mon, I'm also a filthy alcoholic. It was working with all of Mon's milk, I just started mixing. Milk and vodka. Milk and martini. Milk and rum. But I'm going to AA!" Chandler proudly said.  
  
"You're an alcoholic! Me too! What a co-incidence. But we'll be there for each other and will get through anything Chandler, I promise" Monica gripped Chandler's hand tightly. "In fact we can start going to AA meetings together".  
  
"OK! We'll get onto that when we get back".  
  
"Oh, Chandler it feels so good to be together with you again" Monica gushed.  
  
"Y'know what Mon, you and me, we're not just 'together' we're, we're."Chandler couldn't think of the most suitable word.  
  
Monica joined in the thinking process. "Chandler you and me, we're..united!"  
  
"Oh, Monica that's the perfect description. Now let's leave this circus and never come back" said Chandler, eager to begin his new life with her.  
  
Together hand in hand, they finally said goodbye to the circus. That place that had donated nothing but misery to their relationship. But through all the misery and suffering, they were together. United.  
  
A/N: And that, dear readers, is a happy ending. 


End file.
